Alex here. 18 and loving it. Making the most of the new year.

fartgallery:

that person you just called a nerd? they are a giant nerd. you made a good call on that one

(via thefangirlwhowalkedthroughwalls)

Notes
57301
Posted
9 hours ago

ryanjamesyezak:

This Anna Kendrick Little Mermaid SNL sketch is impossible to find (NBC ran into some legal issues with Disney)… watch while you can!

(via pretty-little-secrets-and-lies)

Notes
138009
Posted
9 hours ago

loner-without-a-lobster:

when you get your final grades at the end of the semester

(via thefangirlwhowalkedthroughwalls)

Notes
157
Posted
9 hours ago
kinsara:

draelogor:

lotrlockedwhovian:

viivus:

period thoughts

that would make the funniest fucking story ever. Due to a mix up at the factory, the template for incantations that was supposed to a publishing company of dark art books is sent to a feminine products factory. Girl then accidentally summons Satan with period blood. Satan gets confused because its “dead blood” and when he shows up he realizes the sacrifice was done incorrectly so he cannot take the girl’s soul but now is bound to do her bidding because oops his bad, he showed up anyway.

PLEASE

kinsara:

draelogor:

lotrlockedwhovian:

viivus:

period thoughts

that would make the funniest fucking story ever. Due to a mix up at the factory, the template for incantations that was supposed to a publishing company of dark art books is sent to a feminine products factory. Girl then accidentally summons Satan with period blood. Satan gets confused because its “dead blood” and when he shows up he realizes the sacrifice was done incorrectly so he cannot take the girl’s soul but now is bound to do her bidding because oops his bad, he showed up anyway.

PLEASE

(via thefangirlwhowalkedthroughwalls)

Notes
137206
Posted
9 hours ago

fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

image

and their parents start arguing

image

and you want to ask for the salt

image

but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

image

(via thefangirlwhowalkedthroughwalls)

Notes
92375
Posted
9 hours ago

ghostsfacer:

ghostsfacer:

what if people got a new name every birthday

what if the name represented how old you were, like every 11 year old was named Josh

"I had my first kiss when I was Greg"

party at my place when this hits 200,000 notes and everyone is invited

(via thefangirlwhowalkedthroughwalls)

Notes
203460
Posted
9 hours ago

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad:Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad:Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad:Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad:Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad:Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad:Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad:I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad:Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad:Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad:Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad:It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad:Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad:*puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad:My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad:Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad:Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad:Fuck the government.
Dad:Fuck the school board.
Dad:Close the door.
Dad:Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad:I love puns.
Dad:People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad:Please shut up.
Dad:Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad:I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad:I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad:You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad:Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad:I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad:If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad:They act like I care what they think.
Dad:I hate homework.
Dad:I have decided to become a politician.
Dad:What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
Notes
79078
Posted
9 hours ago

yukirnura:

intartarus:

i wanna put on a cute dress and slay all my enemies

i love the way how this gets notes slowly. it’s like everyone puts on a cute dress an slays all their enemies and then comes back and reblogs the post

(via thefangirlwhowalkedthroughwalls)

Notes
142538
Posted
9 hours ago
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